The Jonas Brothers song is certainly sounding like me today. I’ve got an extreme case of paranoia today for several reasons.

1. So everybody in my graduating class is on Facebook except this one guy that I had a crush on. Last night I saw this his mom had a Facebook page and so I’m debating on sending her a message to say hi (my mom knows her) and find out how said former crush is doing. Who am I kidding. I saw a picture of him in her Facebook pictures. He’s still hot to me. But I’m paranoid she’s going to think I’m a freak, thus tell him (who I was friends with in middle/high school) and he’ll think I’m a freak.

2. I have to do the Lifestyles section of next Sunday’s paper again. The last two times I did them, I somehow messed up people in the engagements section. I don’t know why or how because I hardly ever mess up anything in Sports or News. Paranoid I’m going to mess up again. Maybe it’s this thing in me that I don’t really believe in marriage or anything like that anymore and think the people are wasting their time.

3. So I work as a photographer for a unnamed concert theater type thing. A unnamed group will be performing there this summer. I was told that I have four front row seats to said concert and tix go on sale in the morning, but I’m extremely paranoid that something is going to happen, they aren’t going to hold my four seats and my friends and I will be seatless for what is probably the biggest concert of our lives (well for at least three of us – one isn’t a big fan of the unnamed group). So I’m paranoid and I want to call and be like “So, can I get my tickets today” before the tickets go on sale so that I know I can drive down right then and pick them up. Otherwise, I’m high-telling it to the office for the fast internet and buying four tickets just to be on the safe side. See…. Paranoid!

4. One of my co-workers turned 30 today. I turn 30 this summer. I’m paranoid that a lot of the things that I wanted to do by 30 won’t be done. Sure, I graduated from college. I get to work, doing things I love such as writing, designing and photography. I get to write and have people read things. I got a car on my own in my own name. I won awards for my writing and designing and photography. I’ve done a lot of things but there’s still a few things that I’ve wanted to do that I haven’t done. I don’t care to discuss those here because a.) people will think I’m crazy and b.) I am crazy.

I called my friend, who I shall call P on here, to talk to her and woke up. I discussed my paranoia but I’m always like this about things. I tried to talk to my mother and she insisted I take another anti-depressant / anxiety pill and go to bed, but I’m wide awake after having to drive through the wilderness and watching out for Bambi and his family in the dark.

Other than that, I’ve been on a BSB kick today. I listened to “PDA” on repeat on the way to work today. I was looking at BSB pictures while one of the sports boys was at a baseball game and e-mailed back and forth with P. Discussed fan fiction (NASCAR and BSB) on the phone with P while eating dinner tonight.

As for site stuff, no updates tonight because of my paranoia. However, I am changing the time window when updates will be sent. Since I mostly get online for pleasure like My Confession at night when I get home from work, instead of waiting for the update e-mail to be sent out between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. the next day, it will now be sent out between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. EST.

And NOW I’m going to try and head off to bed before this paranoia gets the best of me.